princessdick69

I like funny things.
nightwiiing:

ladymalchav:

into-the-snogbox:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

rinnychan99:

dersekingdom:

YOU SEE THESE MOTHER FUCKERS RIGHT HERE? THEY ARE POOL NOODLES AND THEY ARE METAL AS FUCK THEY COME IN ALL SHAPES AND COLORS SOMETIMES EVEN PATTERNS WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE YOU KNOW YOU WERE GANGSTER IF YOU HAD THESE BITCHES DIVE INTO THE FUCKING POOL FOR ONE OF THESE THEY FLOAT AND YOU CAN TRY INK THEM BUT THESE BITCHES JUST POP BACK UP IF YOU CAN’T SWIM IT’S IGHT THEY GOT YOU THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN YOU COULD ALSO PLAY KNIGHT AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FRIEND WITH IT LIFE JACKETS? FUCK THAT POOL NOODLES GOT ME EVERY FUCKING COLOR. YOU FRUITY AS HELL? GET EVERY COLOR FOR THE FLAG AND WATCH THEM FLOAT. YEAH THESE WERE MY HOMIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WHEN I WALK DOWN THE AISLE THEY GONNA BE THERE IN FUCKING TUXEDOS AND GODDAMN THEY’RE GONNA BE MY BEST MEN.

…These used to give me rashes, actually

METAL AS FUCK


MOTHER FUCKER I THINK YOU FORGOT THAT THESE FUCKIN’ NOODLES COULD BECOME A GODDAMN THRONE OF WATER. LOOK AT THAT BITCH SHE’S QUEEN OF THE GODDAMN POOL. NOBODY FUCKS WITH A NOODLE NOT EVEN ONCE, IF YOU WHERE RIDIN’ ONE OF THESE SICK ASS BITCHES YOU WHERE A MOTHERFUCKING TANK. 
YOU INTO AMERICA? WELL DON’T WORRY THE NOODLES GOT ‘YAH. BACKIN YOU UP FUCKIN’ FREEDOM STYLE, THEY’LL KEEP YOU FREE AND STOP TERRIOST GODDAMNIT. 

YOU WANNA RE=DO STAR WARS, WELL DON’T WORRY MOTHERFUCKER. THESE TIGHT ASS BITCHES GOT YAH LIKE A FUCKIN CULT. 

OMFG I THINK I LOVE YOU. BUT YOU FORGOT ONE MORE THING:
YOU WANNA GO RULE ATLANTIS? IGHT MOTHER FUCKER, GET ON YOUR TRUNKS AND GRAB YOUR POWERADE BECAUSE BITCH WERE GONNA TAKE OVER KINGDOMS WITH THESE MOTHER FUCKERS.
WE DONT PLAY GAMES HERE, WE FUCKING START WARS. 

VIVA LA NOODLE-CION! 

MAN YOU FORGOT JUST ONE THING.

THAT WE’RE STARTING A GODDAMN ZOO MOTHERFUCKER.
LOOK AT THOSE LIL’SHITS, CUTE AS FUCK. DOWN RIGHT ADORABLE.
AND IF THAT AIN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU SICK BASTARDS. THEN LOOK AT THESE LIL’SHITS.

FUCKIN GLOW IN THE DARK IS WHERE IT’S AT YO, NEED TO SEE UNDER WATER AT NIGHT? MAYBE BECOME A SPY FOR ‘MURICA. WELL DON’T WORRY THESE BITCHES WILL YOU GET YOU INTO A FUCKING BASE IN NO TIME, SOMEBODY SEEN YOU? DON’T WORRY SLAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT WITH A NOODLE.
NOODLE VIETNAM!

THIS IS WHY I FOLLOW YOU. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! 
IF YOU CANT FUCKING AFFORD TO MAKE A COSPLAY FOR GODDAMN OTAKON, THATS IGHT ; YOU CAN BE SPIDER MAN. MOTHER FUCKING UNWANTED SPIDER MAN. 

LOOK AT THAT CRAFTSMANSHIP BITCHES. YOULL BE SURE TO WIN JUDGE’S CHOICE AND GODDAMN FIRST PLACE IN THE HALL CONTEST. YOU STRUT THOSE GODDAMN NOODLE LEGS, GURL. YOU STRUT THEM. 

man that’s actually pretty sick though
BUT BITCH WE STILL GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT AND IN CHINA THEY KNOW THE WAY OF THE NOODLE. 

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS SHIT, FUCKING DRAWING THAT’S WHAT. CHILLING WITH FRIENDS AND LOOKING LIKE SWAG TANKS WITH THEIR GODDAMN NOODLES.
SEE WE AIN’T GOT TIME FOR NO BULLSHIT RIPOFFS.
SO SIT DOWN, RELAX, AND BEAT A BITCH WITH A NOODLE YOU LIL’BEAST.

MUTHAFUCKIN’ CTHULHU.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

WHEN I WAS LEARNING TO SWIM WE CALLED THEM WOGGLES AND THAT IS FUCKING ACCURATE OF HOW THEY MOVE BECAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE THESE MOTHERFUCKING BAD ASS WEAPONS OF WATER WARS

Y’ALL ARE FORGETTING THE BEST PART
ALL YOU NEED ARE A MOUTH AND A NOODLE AND YOU’VE GOT A MOTHER FUCKING WATER CANNON

GET ONE LONG ENOUGH AND YOU CAN USE YOUR CANNON AS A THRONE WHILE YOU BLAST MOTHERFUCKERS AWAY

AND IF YOU WERE REALLY COOL
YOU HAD

MOTHER

FUCKING

CONNECTORS

THANKS RIGHT
THESE WEREN’T JUST THE ABSOLUTE GODDAMN BEST WATER TOYS EVER
THEY WERE ALSO THE MOTHERFUCKING LEGO OF THE SEA



LEGO OF THE SEA

nightwiiing:

ladymalchav:

into-the-snogbox:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

extremeironystrider:

dersekingdom:

rinnychan99:

dersekingdom:

YOU SEE THESE MOTHER FUCKERS RIGHT HERE?
THEY ARE POOL NOODLES AND THEY ARE METAL AS FUCK
THEY COME IN ALL SHAPES AND COLORS
SOMETIMES EVEN PATTERNS
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE YOU KNOW YOU WERE GANGSTER IF YOU HAD THESE
BITCHES DIVE INTO THE FUCKING POOL FOR ONE OF THESE
THEY FLOAT AND YOU CAN TRY INK THEM
BUT THESE BITCHES JUST POP BACK UP
IF YOU CAN’T SWIM IT’S IGHT THEY GOT YOU
THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN
YOU COULD ALSO PLAY KNIGHT AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FRIEND WITH IT
LIFE JACKETS?
FUCK THAT POOL NOODLES GOT ME
EVERY FUCKING COLOR.
YOU FRUITY AS HELL?
GET EVERY COLOR FOR THE FLAG AND WATCH THEM FLOAT.
YEAH THESE WERE MY HOMIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WHEN I WALK DOWN THE AISLE THEY GONNA BE THERE IN FUCKING TUXEDOS AND GODDAMN THEY’RE GONNA BE MY BEST MEN.

…These used to give me rashes, actually

METAL AS FUCK

image

MOTHER FUCKER I THINK YOU FORGOT THAT THESE FUCKIN’ NOODLES COULD BECOME A GODDAMN THRONE OF WATER. LOOK AT THAT BITCH SHE’S QUEEN OF THE GODDAMN POOL. NOBODY FUCKS WITH A NOODLE NOT EVEN ONCE, IF YOU WHERE RIDIN’ ONE OF THESE SICK ASS BITCHES YOU WHERE A MOTHERFUCKING TANK. image

YOU INTO AMERICA? WELL DON’T WORRY THE NOODLES GOT ‘YAH. BACKIN YOU UP FUCKIN’ FREEDOM STYLE, THEY’LL KEEP YOU FREE AND STOP TERRIOST GODDAMNIT. 

image

YOU WANNA RE=DO STAR WARS, WELL DON’T WORRY MOTHERFUCKER. THESE TIGHT ASS BITCHES GOT YAH LIKE A FUCKIN CULT. 

OMFG I THINK I LOVE YOU. BUT YOU FORGOT ONE MORE THING:

YOU WANNA GO RULE ATLANTIS? IGHT MOTHER FUCKER, GET ON YOUR TRUNKS AND GRAB YOUR POWERADE BECAUSE BITCH WERE GONNA TAKE OVER KINGDOMS WITH THESE MOTHER FUCKERS.

WE DONT PLAY GAMES HERE, WE FUCKING START WARS. 

image

VIVA LA NOODLE-CION! 

MAN YOU FORGOT JUST ONE THING.

image

THAT WE’RE STARTING A GODDAMN ZOO MOTHERFUCKER.

LOOK AT THOSE LIL’SHITS, CUTE AS FUCK. DOWN RIGHT ADORABLE.

AND IF THAT AIN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU SICK BASTARDS. THEN LOOK AT THESE LIL’SHITS.

image

FUCKIN GLOW IN THE DARK IS WHERE IT’S AT YO, NEED TO SEE UNDER WATER AT NIGHT? MAYBE BECOME A SPY FOR ‘MURICA. WELL DON’T WORRY THESE BITCHES WILL YOU GET YOU INTO A FUCKING BASE IN NO TIME, SOMEBODY SEEN YOU? DON’T WORRY SLAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT WITH A NOODLE.

NOODLE VIETNAM!

THIS IS WHY I FOLLOW YOU. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! 

IF YOU CANT FUCKING AFFORD TO MAKE A COSPLAY FOR GODDAMN OTAKON, THATS IGHT ; YOU CAN BE SPIDER MAN. MOTHER FUCKING UNWANTED SPIDER MAN. 

image

LOOK AT THAT CRAFTSMANSHIP BITCHES. YOULL BE SURE TO WIN JUDGE’S CHOICE AND GODDAMN FIRST PLACE IN THE HALL CONTEST. YOU STRUT THOSE GODDAMN NOODLE LEGS, GURL. YOU STRUT THEM. 

man that’s actually pretty sick though

BUT BITCH WE STILL GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT AND IN CHINA THEY KNOW THE WAY OF THE NOODLE.image 

image

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS SHIT, FUCKING DRAWING THAT’S WHAT. CHILLING WITH FRIENDS AND LOOKING LIKE SWAG TANKS WITH THEIR GODDAMN NOODLES.

SEE WE AIN’T GOT TIME FOR NO BULLSHIT RIPOFFS.

SO SIT DOWN, RELAX, AND BEAT A BITCH WITH A NOODLE YOU LIL’BEAST.

image

MUTHAFUCKIN’ CTHULHU.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

WHEN I WAS LEARNING TO SWIM WE CALLED THEM WOGGLES AND THAT IS FUCKING ACCURATE OF HOW THEY MOVE BECAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE THESE MOTHERFUCKING BAD ASS WEAPONS OF WATER WARS

Y’ALL ARE FORGETTING THE BEST PART

ALL YOU NEED ARE A MOUTH AND A NOODLE AND YOU’VE GOT A MOTHER FUCKING WATER CANNON

image

GET ONE LONG ENOUGH AND YOU CAN USE YOUR CANNON AS A THRONE WHILE YOU BLAST MOTHERFUCKERS AWAY

image

AND IF YOU WERE REALLY COOL

YOU HAD

image


MOTHER

image

FUCKING

image

CONNECTORS

image

THANKS RIGHT

THESE WEREN’T JUST THE ABSOLUTE GODDAMN BEST WATER TOYS EVER

THEY WERE ALSO THE MOTHERFUCKING LEGO OF THE SEA

image

LEGO OF THE SEA

lion:

this nigga drake brought a lint roller to a basketball game lmaoooo

lion:

this nigga drake brought a lint roller to a basketball game lmaoooo

(via 5eva-flexin)

tomoatmeal:

You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off.  And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this.

tomoatmeal:

You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off.  And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this.

(via nentindo)

spiritguide:

WHOA THERE COOL IT THAT’S WAAAAY TOO MUCH FROSTING FOR ONE DUNKAROO YOU GOTTA RATION THAT SHIT

spiritguide:

WHOA THERE COOL IT THAT’S WAAAAY TOO MUCH FROSTING FOR ONE DUNKAROO YOU GOTTA RATION THAT SHIT

(via pedsrnhannah)

badgoku14:

I found this on my sisters ipad

(via dutchster)