princessdick69

hishonourabletyranny:

fushimichi:

ive been laughing for like 50 years at this

she did it boys

she found it

little-town:

what i wanted

what i found

cokeflow:

mirandasexnoise:

greg0ry:

nicki minaj is 30

how

she was born 30 years ago

dannyisbrown:

odetoabird:

cumber-bitches:

cazastrophic:

cumber-bitches:

how come nobody got pregnant at hogwarts? i mean come on, surely there was some unprotected hanky panky going on there.

Wizardry.

ahh, makes sense. 

fetus deletus

ok i don’t usually reblog harry potter stuff but this is good

Fetus deletus omg get out

maleteen:

IM LAUGHING SO HARD WE ARE TAKING OUR MATH EXAM AND SOME GIRL JUST YELLED OUT “THERE’S NO WAY I GOT 11 MILLION AS MY FUCKING ANSWER”

herachris:

panerasexual:

omfg what if you sat on santas lap and he had a boner

you better not shout. you better not cry. you better not pout. i’m going in dry

tedthejinglebellhop:

fun fact one time robert pattinson was supposed to get punk’d at the bar where my cousin works and they got all the employees in on it and everything but when it came time to punk him his friends couldn’t get him to leave his house and that’s when I knew I loved robert pattinson

leezzee:

gallifreyangurl:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

hoechln:

i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead. 

omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston

ugh, my hair looks terrible 

can we do it again i blinked

hallloween:

I’m crying because I’m eating brownie batter with a spoon that looks like this:

and when the batter seeps through the holes it looks like this:

toned-tanned-fit-andready:

v0nlaust:

caliiforniadreaming-xo:

gothicstan:

localised:

do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts

yes but the problem is i dont want to get murdered u feel me

i feel you 

we all feel you 

why are so many people touching me

unclefather:

things people have yelled in a bath and body works store:

• “what the fuck is a eucalyptus” 
• “this smells like my grandma”
• “what the fuck does “wood” smell like”
• “this is bullshit i’m going home”

trillow:

“i’m the breadwinner in this family”, a man screams at his wife. “i won that bread in the competition all those years ago, don’t you fucking take that away from me.” his wife holds the mold covered bread above the open trashcan, staring him in the eye, daring him to make a move

gallana:

beerito:

rnickey:

how do i make friends

add two cups of chopped lettuce